Children with Down syndrome, severe autism, and other disabilities are significantly harder to raise than children without, often requiring lifelong care. This falls under your first criterion (“choosing not to have a child because ~of~ you are unable to safely raise it”). Gender and eye color do not fall under this criterion.

(Tangentially, this is a question that supporters of unconditional access to abortion do not have a good answer for. If abortion is 100% legal, without exception, does that mean it’s OK to use it for female infanticide?)

Same for the autistic and mentally ill. I'd like to just roll the dice until I get one that'll be easy to raise. And in much of the world girls are indeed much harder to raise