Note, for example that the mighty 6502 succeeded in the market because its designers had heard from customers that the $100 price for the 6800 was too much, so they removed some instructions and addressing modes to get the die small enough that it could be sold for $20.
No, you misunderstood. You subtract one from the pointer at allocation time. You don’t add an instruction every time you access.
Yeah today memory access on a cache miss is really expensive. I think memory was normally running at a different clock rate than the CPU even 50-60 years ago, so has always been something where you can’t touch memory every instruction. The latency of a cache miss wasn’t nearly as bad in the past. When the data cache was invented, a main memory access was like 4 times slower than register access. Today, main memory access can be more than a hundred time slower, sometimes it can approach a thousand times slower, which is why we always have multi-level caches now. And memory latency is still getting worse. If someone figured out how to make memory faster without increasing the cost or the energy consumption, they’d be rich! ;)