Isn't a repeating calendar event with an alert a better tool for this? But then you have to remember to check your calendar or to do the thing that alert you just snoozed/ignored was reminding you to do. Don't forget to check your todo list from time to time...

I have the same problem as you, of remembering things I need to do. But I've not found todo lists to actually help, in fact I find if I take too much time to maintain the list, I have less time to spend doing the things I'm supposed to do.

Kind of like remembering phone numbers. I don't know anyone's phone number anymore, because I don't have to, because I have a place that I can store them all. The difference is that the phone dials it for me when I tap it; my todo list doesn't carry out the tasks I write on it, but it does help me to forget them faster!

It's some mixture of https://xkcd.com/1906/, https://xkcd.com/927/ and https://xkcd.com/1319/

I find a TODO list useful for those things that need to be done today as well as others sometime in the next two weeks. For whatever reason, it can't be done today but it does need to happen. Putting a reminder on my calendar sometimes works for me and sometimes doesn't depending on what other supporting actions or information or whatever go along with it. If the calendar reminder pops up and I'm not "ready" to work on that it can get lost. On my TODO list, I see a constant reminder that the due date is coming and I can ensure that I find the time to complete it. I'm not always the best at looking well ahead on my calendar.

That's how my mind works, YMMV.

Some of those repeats are more flexible, like "water my plant 10 days after I last watered it". It's not going to fall over and die if I miss a day or 2. That also lets me treat my calendar as sacred: if I have an appointment there, I have to be at that place and time. My dentist won't amused if I'm a day late.

I hate recommending specific apps, but after using OmniFocus for years, I started using Things a few months ago and it's been heavenly. It's not as powerful as OF, but has all the features I actually need and not much else. I'm not tempted to waste time making my workflow absolutely perfect and optimal instead of just, you know, doing things.

But are you then actually remembering her?

Yes, of course.