Correct: and in my case, VS Code with my customizations (plugins + configs) is more than equal to the task, it does everything I'd want from a full-blown IDE, and does it in a snap. Being disrupted by your IDE is maddening because it only happens when you're in deep focus.
My IDE journey was similar to yours Eclipse -> Jetbrains, then what started off as a casual affair with VS Code on personal projects ended up being serious indeed.
I felt like it was easier to add features I want to VS Code than to remove/disable fearures from IntelliJ to trim the fat, YMMV. I'm glad to hear IntelliJ s now consistently fast after initialization - when I last used it, the slow downs were unpredictable and lasted minutes, and occasionally required restarting the IDE, but that was a long time ago, back when SSD storage was expensive.
As for hitching and speed, intellij has a poor 15 seconds on my laptop before it's super snappy and basically never drops perf whatever I'm hammering at. I think the common feature rich IDE slowness strawman is a defence for what's better expressed as an opinion. If you like featureless ides, have at it.