When my grandmother was dying in a hospital, she had some dementia. I don't think she ever uttered a racial epithet to anyone in her whole life, but one day a hospital worker was trying to clean her room up and making a bit of a commotion, she sat up and told him to go away, that she did not like black people. We apolized to the man who seemed to understand the situation. My point is that people are complicated, sometimes they say things on reflex they would not say in a healthier more positive frame of mind.
People are concerned about existing as they were born as well. I think those people are less concerned about whether or not your grandma can be honest about her feelings towards black people.
> I don’t think she uttered a racial epithet to anyone in her whole life
I’ll start by saying this is an assumption and likely untrue.
As previously stated, lots of people who are racist are never overtly racist.
They're very nice at the surface level. You wouldn't expect it, but oh boy was it there an it was deep.
I really, really do not believe that the racial epithets are superficial. It's not a uniquely old person problem by any definition, but it's extremely common.