i think you're missing the point. it's not that you have to write a note to your spouse to save your marriage. the act of writing forces you to think and evaluate, and those acts of reflection, and 'public' appreciation, help keep the small problems from becoming the big problems.

like in karate kid, "wax on, wax off" is not about the wax.

but, you're right, marriage isn't for everyone. but i also don't think TFA is trying to convince everyone to get married.