One of us is confused, and it very well might be me and GP, but I thought that Go can cross-compile to other platforms (different OS and arch combinations), but cannot produce (at least by default?) a single binary that can run on multiple platforms, like this article does.

Yeah Go does not do that. I don't think any lang does

I think it's pretty much a unique feature of APE, because APE binaries modify their own code after the first run to nativize themselves. (Right? Or do the new versions work different?)

I can't tell if my disdain for this is real (Since I really like having my exes read-only and having a consistent hash) or just sublimated envy (Since most desktops will in practice have every file marked as read-write, and if it works it's not stupid)