Ask HN: Quit a job if you don't fit in the team?

Re:Ask HN: Quit a job if you don't fit in the team? by brudgers on Thursday July 21, 2022 @01:02PM (#32181847)

In established organizations, coworkers have relationships built over years and decades. They have a shared history that spans ups and downs.

Compared to that four months is not very long. Four years isn't very long, when coworkers watched the twin towers in the break room.

That's the general, but your working remote most of the time means there's very little waiting for five oclock time. You're not at most bull-sessoins.

My advice is to work in-office.

And consider seeing a licensed therapist because mental health is a health issue.

It's been a tough couple of years. Good luck.

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Re:Ask HN: Quit a job if you don't fit in the team? by dusted on Thursday July 21, 2022 @04:11PM (#32184338)

I second this.

It might not be the solution, but I think the attempt you need to make is just that, get into the office full-time, join breakfast and lunches and whatever else activity is there, and try hard to accept yourself that you're quiet (at the time being).

I've felt like this at times, like I don't belong, felt bad that I'm the weird one (I totally am), but I've forced myself to be there, to participate, not to feel further outcast, and it has helped every time.. I'd go so far as to say that the more disconnected or outcast I've felt, the more I've made a point of being there, even if quiet.

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Re:Ask HN: Quit a job if you don't fit in the team? by vinteruggla on Sunday July 24, 2022 @07:30AM (#32212395)

I appreciate this. It takes much mental effort to go through this and almost force yourself to be there knowing you’re falling outside.

In some cases though the chasm remains even more pronounced.

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