See my comment here: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=32131180

I've seen that comment too. It's unclear to me why you can't just have 1:1 relationships with these relatives by calling them on the phone or visiting in person regularly. You seem locked into the concept of only being able to interact with them using this specific group chat type format.

Calling them on the phone doesn't let them share their photos with me. I can't see the new plant in their retirement village, or see the painting they just did, or check out how they've personalised their room.

Visiting in person would require a 70 to 80 hour round trip. And once in the same country, getting to see all of them is also a further multi-day journey.

I've worked on this, I've thought about it, I've considered all the alternatives I can find, and I've come to the conclusion that the only effective way to stay in touch with my relatives is to use FB. Really, I've thought about it. A lot. Really. I have.

You've read my comments, and if I haven't explained well enough for you to understand now then I guess I'm just not able to make myself understood, so I'll give up.

I think for him Facebook is a necessary evil to keep in touch with some elderly family members who are stuck on it. So that's fine. It doesn't really undermine the point that for most people the ideal solution is to not use Facebook.