Re:Ask HN: Do you assume good will at work?
by haswell on Monday July 11, 2022 @06:03PM
(#32062597)
I've tried both approaches, and now I always assume good will. I think Hanlon's razor can also be helpful here, but gets at a different problem entirely, and one should be careful about going too far with their conclusions about incompetence or stupidity.
Assuming the opposite is like a poison. And it's a poison that spreads to those around you. It spreads to your communications, and starts to manifest as a defensive communication style, which in turn starts to change how other people see you. It raises questions in other people's heads that wouldn't have been there otherwise, and the poison spreads.
It starts to change how you think. You start spending time and mental energy thinking about things that have no reason to be true. You start to base foundational arguments and ideas on this distorted version of reality.
To make this very practical, imagine a scenario which could be interpreted in two ways:
1. The other person has malicious intent
2. The other person has just as much going on in their life as you do, and doesn't always show up as the perfect version of themselves
If you go about life assuming #1, and if everyone around you goes about life assuming #1, the only place this can lead is distrust, conflict, unwarranted conclusions, and a generally combative or at the very least, defensive mode of interaction.
And it's because the same things you see in others are things that can show up in you or I. And chances are, you've done things that made someone else ask themselves the same question: "are they operating on good faith?". Of course, only you know the truthful answer, but I find it helpful to think about how someone else's default mode might change their perception of me.
This isn't to say you should be naive about people who are not good actors. But assuming the best won't hide those bad actors.
You don't have to look for the bad to find it. But if all you look for is bad, that's all you will find.
Assuming the opposite is like a poison. And it's a poison that spreads to those around you. It spreads to your communications, and starts to manifest as a defensive communication style, which in turn starts to change how other people see you. It raises questions in other people's heads that wouldn't have been there otherwise, and the poison spreads.
It starts to change how you think. You start spending time and mental energy thinking about things that have no reason to be true. You start to base foundational arguments and ideas on this distorted version of reality.
To make this very practical, imagine a scenario which could be interpreted in two ways:
1. The other person has malicious intent
2. The other person has just as much going on in their life as you do, and doesn't always show up as the perfect version of themselves
If you go about life assuming #1, and if everyone around you goes about life assuming #1, the only place this can lead is distrust, conflict, unwarranted conclusions, and a generally combative or at the very least, defensive mode of interaction.
And it's because the same things you see in others are things that can show up in you or I. And chances are, you've done things that made someone else ask themselves the same question: "are they operating on good faith?". Of course, only you know the truthful answer, but I find it helpful to think about how someone else's default mode might change their perception of me.
This isn't to say you should be naive about people who are not good actors. But assuming the best won't hide those bad actors.
You don't have to look for the bad to find it. But if all you look for is bad, that's all you will find.