> Might it simply be the social setting that makes it work in a class and not with your own kids?

Oh, totally. It does work with my kids somewhat, but there has to be at least a minimal reason for constraint and at least some desirability of the options. At school, constraint is expected and things that are not entirely fun are tolerated.

Asking A or B for breakfast as someone else pointed out, when they're not interested in eating, isn't going to do anything.

Also--my wife and I do the "A or B --- or -you- propose something" with each other. Prevents just absently saying "nah" to a long list of options.