Other times, I just feel like I’ve been fighting a framework for hours to achieve something that really should have only take a few minutes.
IMO, it’s about having as many weapons in your arsenal as possible and always selecting the most appropriate for the task at hand. You can only really do this if you have a good broad working knowledge of as many tools as possible, to understand their unique strengths and limitations.
Typically I just avoid the latest shiny new thing entirely for at least a couple of years until it’s stabilised somewhat. I got burnt early adopting Swift and spending countless unbillable hours updating thousands of LOC every time Apple seemed to break the entire thing with each new release.
This is a build tool, something like a compiler. And it's been writtes by arguably one of the greatest dev in the current generation to get rid of every problem you discribe. There is almost no configuration involved in getting your projects to "just work", which is why people love it.
Give frontend some time. Frontend development, like it exists now, is 10 years old. Backend applications and their architecture have a 30 year advantage.
Edit: ok so I took a look at the website in your hackernews bio. Some cool stuff there, but honestly in terms of front end work it isn't terribly complicated. So while you might be picking the correct tools for your work, it doesn't really apply for, say, a marketplace website that wants to lazy load long lists of products, or that want to re-use those product cards across different pages, etc. This is where vanilla JS starts to be too low-level, and you start to see the benefits of the structure that frameworks provide.
Of course my projects don't represent everybody's, but I've done a wide variety of them so I'm not speaking from some esoteric niche viewpoint either. There's a certain stockholm syndrome with these tools where people assume they'd be much worse off without them, without actually trying it out.
I've been developing complicated full stack apps for years with nearly-vanilla JS, CSS and HTML, plus a helping of basic software design skills, and I have no trouble managing complexity, delivering features fast, etc. I've never related to all these problems the frontend world endlessly frets about like state management, build times (I don't use builds), polyfills (I just use whatever raw JS subset is about 97% supported), server-side rendering (just design your app with an intelligent division of labor between client and server), dependency management (minimize them, and understand the ones you use fully so you can adapt them to your needs), etc.
Like this site demonstrates, reasoning for using all this cruft is always vague too - "best practice", "modern", "next gen", whatever. Seriously, the whole frontend ecosystem seems a rube goldberg tower built on pseudo-technical marketing fluff that has everyone chasing their tail and adding more unnecessary layers. I don't get it.
If you're deep in this world, I highly recommend: go a layer down. Try implementing your next feature with and without the library / framework du joir. Can you simplify, remove layers, and still accomplish your goals? How much code is it for each version, including the framework? Is the dependency worth all its baggage, like build times, module incompatibilities, leaky abstractions, loss of control, etc.?