I have a similar lifestyle.

I am starting to realize it's not laziness that's holding me back. It's full-blown burnout, stress, and anxiety. I have realized that I am actively avoiding doing anything to make my life better. Upon further inspection, I was doing this before I touched cannabis (about 1.5 years ago). If anything, cannabis just dulls my feelings down enough that I can keep my head above water while going to my dead-end and toxic job that I've been at for almost 6 years.

I know what I need to do and I cannot bring myself to do it. I am still trying to figure out why. Again, this existed prior to my cannabis usage too.