Re:Ask HN: How do you cultivate social skills?
by blablabla123 on Tuesday June 21, 2022 @05:42AM
(#31822094)
> How to Win Friends and Influence People is still a good foundation
I think a lot of the advice in the book is quite dreadful. Although I could imagine this to be an interesting read for sales people
Re:Ask HN: How do you cultivate social skills?
by annyeonghada on Tuesday June 21, 2022 @09:36AM
(#31823766)
It is so strange when people keep repeating my name, respond enthusiastically to every rubbish I say and are always so smiley... then I remember this book and I understand, what I do not understand is: who thought those advices were good ideas? Or maybe I'm just a contrarian?
Re:Ask HN: How do you cultivate social skills?
by blablabla123 on Tuesday June 21, 2022 @12:10PM
(#31825598)
Yeah it makes no sense, it's basically a manual for running friendships like a business which is of course bad in the long run. It makes me actually wonder how many people read that book but on the other hand I think many have been raised with the notion that everything needs to be great all the time
Re:Ask HN: How do you cultivate social skills?
by afarrell on Wednesday June 22, 2022 @07:40PM
(#31843332)
I’m curious what advice from it you find dreadful.
Re:Ask HN: How do you cultivate social skills?
by aristofun on Tuesday June 21, 2022 @11:31PM
(#31831737)
> Books by Berné Brown are really good
Sorry but this is terrible suggestion.
One thing if you like her books, no problemo.
But they are so vague and not actionable to the point of meaningless for someone seeking a practical advice.
The short answer is: your anxiety comes from the fact that you are focusing on how awkward and shy you are. When you notice your attention going this way, try to redirect it toward curiosity about the other person.
(I find that in order to do this, I still sometimes need to clear the air by stating outright to the other person that I am an awkward nerd.)