>Bitcoin can be transferred instantly across the world and the amounts verified by computers. Gold cannot.

Which is a huge win for gold.

I'm still looking for all my apes that got stolen.

Gold can be transferred between parties without leaving a public audit trail. Bitcoin cannot.

You can sort of transfer Bitcoin without an audit trail by giving someone the private keys to an account.

I guess, but there's no proof the sender has deleted their copies of the keys. You would need to immediately transfer the assets to another wallet, and until you did, the sender could rescind the transfer by moving the coins themselves.

Although meeting in person to physically transfer gold requires a similar amount of trust, so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I fail to see how this is relevant at all, the point of parent was about intrinsic value.

There is intrinsic value in having a globally accessible Bitcoin network that has lots of liquidity.