And I encourage everyone to keep whatever circles make them happy. But if a devout Christian said she doesn't like anyone who hangs out with atheists, or a meat-eater said he doesn't like anyone who hangs out with vegans, I don't think you'd struggle to identify these as extremist attitudes. The expectation that a person is guaranteed to mistreat me if any of their friends disapproves of me or think I'm a loon seems like a clear example of miscalibrated contempt.