And input like yours is exactly what might make the difference when he or she interacts with potential employers next time.
As a non-team player that manages to successfully fake it (within limits) I think that even that can be turned into an asset.
Refusing work that you are paid to do for is a firing offense all over the world. But circumstances do matter and since they're not provided I'm going to at least reserve judgment on whether or not there were any mitigating circumstances. For the record, I once refused to do a job that was technically within my abilities and job description. The only reason that job was given to me was as a revenge action for speaking up against a superior on an earlier occasion. Fortunately for me I had enough credit by then to be able to refuse the job and get away with it but technically that would have been the perfect pretext to fire me.
Growth is a process. Posts like these are part of that process, so I have plenty of hope that the OP will eventually manage to find his way, and improving on his communications skills would seem to be the first order of battle. Even saying 'no' is a sales job.
One clarification:
> A negative assessment of your boss? Whoa. That would piss me off, too. Why didn't you just talk to him?
Filling out the assessment form was a required preparation for the yearly staff appraisal. You fill it out, give it to your boss and then you discuss it with him at the meeting. Though the discussion never happened in my case.
Always remember that HR is present to safeguard the company. They will look after the manager more than they look after you because he is, to the company, much more important.
OP: you need to learn what I learnt during my time in corporate America - focus on getting what u want instead of focussing on being right. When your a startup founder you can work on creating a better workplace. For now though focus on getting along with the boss. It's a way to make good money and it's a great skill to have - being able to work with difficult people.
And it wasn't about my true feelings or me being right. I enjoy analyzing and thinking about stuff, and so when you give me an assessment form with about 20 topics, you will get a (critical) analysis of them. With my thoughts on what's good and what could be improved. And many questions. For me it was like a code or design review.
So your saying that a manager fired you solely on feedback u gave to him? I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
Also you seem stuck on "being right". That's a lonely place to be in my friend.
Yes.
> I'm pretty sure that's illegal.
Why would that be illegal?
Anyway you dont fit in to a regular command and control type organisation. Welcome to my world :) ....
Now if your generally a rebel but you do love creating things then you _might_ be an entrepreneur. First get a job and then view the job as the thing that allows you to become an entrepreneur in the future. Ie the job is your "Venture Capitalist". Save up enough so that you can quit in the future and go it on your own.
Again this means you have to put what you want before your urge to be right. This will take you about 3 years to learn. In 3 years you could have $50000 saved up and the oppurtunity of a lifetime to be an entrepreneur.
And maybe you are right about me being a potential entrepreneur. It's something that's in the back of my mind, but so far I didn't find a business idea.
If the boss deserves a negative assessment then he deserves to get one. Yes, but not without speaking with him first, giving him a chance to correct himself or working something out with the OP. It is wrong to come at anyone from the left field. Just like an employee does not deserve getting fired w/o fair warning, the boss does not like being written about to HR about without ever communicated with first.
Note: I am comparing firing with a bad review because they are both the strongest action the given party can take against the other.
When I read your headline on the front page, the first thing I thought was, "OK, someone to help and encourage. Good." After I read your comment, I didn't feel quite the same way.
I normally try to be upbeat and positive, but in your case, it won't sound that way. I'm going to give it to you straight and I hope that you don't get offended or upset. You need feedback from my point of view.
It's perfectly normal for someone to be weak technically or with other people. It's perfectly normal for someone to struggle with work habits, project management, or personal issues. It's also perfectly normal for excellent people to have been fired. Many of us have been on both sides of these issues.
And these are the kinds of things that are easily managed and fixed.
Your issues, unfortunately, run deeper. Conflicts with bosses? OK, we've all been there. Not getting along? That happens, too. A negative assessment of your boss? Whoa. That would piss me off, too. Why didn't you just talk to him? Refusing to work on a project? WTF? That's your fucking job!
These are the kinds of things that are not easily managed and fixed. I don't know why anyone would take a chance on someone with this kind of track performance. I know that I wouldn't. I'd much rather hire a weak performer with good attitude and potential than a strong performer with interpersonal issues you describe. It's just not worth the trouble.
You most telling remark, however, was:
Another obstacle is that I'm an introvert loner and hence just the opposite of the "communicative teamplayer" companies seem to be looking for.
As one introvert loner to another, I can confidently tell you that this is just an excuse. Almost all of us are introvert loners and almost all employers want "communicative teamplayers". And most of us just find a way to make it work.
I bet I've been in situations like yours (and worse) far more times than you and I bet many others here have too. I've been abused more ways than I care to remember. I've done the work of 5 people and been passed up for promotion. I've worked overtime for years and got no credit. I've been yelled at, cussed at, and many times, generally treated like shit. But I've learned how to put up with it until it's no longer time to put up with it. It all depends where you draw the line.
I've never had words with a boss or customer. I've never emailed, talked about someone else, or filled out any form about them without talking to them first. And most of all, I've never refused work. That's our reason for being there in the first place.
Any ideas on how to get back into the working world with such a track record?
I may sound negative, but believe me, I really want to help. So here are a few thoughts:
1. The root cause of your negative experiences is probably still there. You need to identify that cause, understand your role, and fix it. Get help with that if you think you need it. The good news: you know there's a problem and you're already talking about it. You may be 90% of the way there.
2. Always tell the truth.
3. Don't be afraid to admit that you may have been wrong.
4. Be prepared to describe your experiences (truthfully always!) and what steps you have already taken to grow because of them.
5. Don't volunteer (in writing or in person) anything that you don't have to that can potentially hurt you.
6. Never give references until after you have a job offer (contingent upon those references).
7. Find a way to have a positive attitude and make it show.
8. Understand that there are assholes everywhere and you will surely encounter many more. You can't control them. But you must control yourself. Don't let them fuck you up any more.
I hope I haven't been too tough, but I think you needed to hear this. I wish you the best and look forward to hearing about you getting up on your feet again. If you want to refute anything I have said or need any follow-up feedback, please contact me off-line. Best wishes!