Buy an old copy from the 1940s or 50s instead of the current edition, which has been rewritten to suit present fashions. The original edition contained a few unPC ideas, but it's always better to read an original book, bearing in mind that it's a book from a past era, than to read a new version sanitized for your protection.
People have been building relationships for millennia. HTWFAIP is barely 80 years old and a classic. I read it as a shy, introverted kid and it probably had a better effect on my life than any other book.
Something that had a huge effect was his theory that success is 15% professional knowledge and 85% communication skills. Didn't quite understand it as a kid but as I entered the professional world I saw how true that was. Not boot-licking, just the ability to explain concepts and show how what you're doing is useful to people puts you way above most, especially in heavily technical fields where communication is often lacking.
Leil Lowndes' "How to Talk to Anyone" is a more modern take on the subject that I found valuable.
It's coming up on 80 years.
Also, literature tend not to lose it's status as "classic" with age :) I think you mean "relevant"?
Oh, and I get along just fine with Colin ;)
There's no silver bullet that helps us address all of life's problems, big and small, but definitely check out the book as an easy first step - you can probably find a copy at any second hand bookstore for a few bucks.
I've got the new version. You can definitely tell what's updated and what's not but that doesn't detract from the message.
As it says in the book, read with something to mark it with. I regretted not writing down or bookmarking the marxisms as I was reading; I'm going to have to go through and copy them down to refer to faster.
All thru-out the book, Dale Carnegie tells you that you must be genuine in order for it to be ethical.
I can recommend the "59 seconds: Think a Little, Change a Lot" by Richard Wiseman, where he also explains what to tell at interviews and how to present your strengths and weaknesses.
Another thing I did and it was very useful was a psychological workshop lead by an actor with higher education in theater. That woman could decipher any our messages and explain what others get from them, that the way you communicate is often more important and tells more than the message itself.
So, my advice would be go get some knowledge, try in real life, then again knowledge and reflection, and so on. If you do it consistently, it doesn't make you the world's most nice person, but you'll definitely be more competent than many people around.
This is an interesting citation. I haven't personally read it but I recall an interview on NPR wherein an author (I can't remember his name now) recalled a year of elementary school during which he read this book and attempted to implement its techniques. The result? Both his peers and the teachers were left confused and unsure how to react to his methods that he had garnered from the book. Some people seemed to think he was trying to manipulate them while others were just unused to such unnatural social interaction. So that's completely anecdotal, after all who knows what a kid really would know about the advice of such a book or how he might have (wrongly or rightly) interpreted the book. Still I found it fascinating, the reactions he described. It made me wonder if you can really create a so-called "blueprint" for social interaction?
To paraphrase badly, there's examples along the lines of "So I laid my hat on the desk, asked his girl to fetch us some coffee and said '...so let's name the company after you'. He took the deal.".
Following that to the letter would likely get you kicked out (ie. wearing a fedora to a business meeting makes you look like a loon, summoning the nearest woman to fetch you coffee would likely get you a dirty look or a lawsuit) but the underlying principle of giving up credit to the other guy so everyone gets what they want is still a valuable principle.
You can't create word-for-word scripts for social interaction as context varies wildly between situations, locations and time periods - but there are underlying principles of interaction that can be modeled and learned, especially by those who are not naturally gifted with communication skills.
(Some other fascinating books on this subject: Robert Cialdini's Influence and Eric Berne's Games People Play)
Sincerity works though. If you can fake that, you've got it made 8-)
Sorry, in all seriousness, yes, the sincerity is a critical component, which is why you can't just read the book and have a checklist of things to do and follow. It has to be internalized and become a natural part of the way you interact.
The results can be dramatic. They were for me.
But it's worth it.
Good luck.
Others will offer advice about where to apply to work (startups), and what to do in the meantime to be able to demonstrate your skills (github/OpenSource). I'll talk about my personal experience in the introvert/communication problem.
If you work in and/or for a company you will need to communicate. You need to receive guidance/instruction from those who are assigning you work, you need to pass the fruits of your labors back to your work colleagues and/or bosses.
No matter how much of a genius you may be, you have to communicate effectively.
I never could, until I was forced into a situation where I knew I was going to have to learn how to get along with people. This was in the mid 1970s - there was no internet, no home computers, no mobiles, and if you wanted information you got it from people or books. So I went and found a book that I could use as a blueprint for how to get along with people.
I used "How to Win Friends and Influence People."
These days it's terribly dated, but I picked up one of my copies the other day and dipped into it. Allowing for the language and the scenarios used, it seemed like it would be as effective today as it was for me some 35 years ago.
But you can't just read it, you have to study, reflect, and apply what you've just read. The book itself says that, exhorting you to read a chapter, then put it into deliberate practice.
It may not work for you, but I can pretty much guarantee that the one thing that won't work is not making the effort.
ADDED IN EDIT: I should add that there are people who hate me, and others that I get along with really well. This is my story - yours will be different. I tell it here not as an absolute, but as something to consider.