To me, Lisp makes every other language I know feel like BASIC in the sense that the distinguishing features of the language feel to me like they are designed to appeal to ignorance rather than to empower.
"IMHO" and "objectively" are in fairly stark opposition.
I agree, but the scope of your assessments will be very limited, and also you end up writing tautologies (if your objective quality metric is A, then you've redefined "better" to mean exactly A). In particular, the scope of your assessments will be far more limited than the example you give (words such as "easy," "simple," etc. are unlikely to enter the statement without some rigorous definition, but therefore also highly restrictive, underlying it).
> For example, C is objectively better than Brainfuck if your goal is to write software easily.
I would not take a bet, that if you presented Brainfuck and C to all > 7 billion living humans, there would not be at least one person who found it easier to write software in Brainfuck than in C. Certainly I could imagine a hypothetical human for which it would not be true.
I think that's the answer to every language war ever. "To my brain." If you claim "X is easier to understand", you get a war. But if you claim "for my brain, X is easier to understand", that's a lot harder to have a war about. All someone can reply is "well, my brain is different", which... OK, your brain is different. Fine. (Or someone could claim that nobody could actually have a brain such that X is easy to understand, at which point it's pretty clear who the unreasonable zealot is.)
In fact, I think this is also the answer to the editor wars. It may even be the answer to the political wars.