Re:Bits of advice I wish I had known
by bornfreddy on Friday April 29, 2022 @12:19PM
(#31207155)
Agree 100%.
> But I genuinely believe that most kids want to be good, where "good" is defined as "behaving in a way that I get approval from my parents".
Well said, I would just say "...behaving in a way that I get attention from my parents". Approval is better yhan disapproval, but both will do if a child lacks attention.
This explains why "bad" children often stay the way they are even when punished - this is how they get the most of their parents' attention. Attention is the main currency for children and the only way to raise a healthy adult is to give plenty of it to a child. But not as punishment.
Coincidentally, adults are not as different from children as most think we are.
> But I genuinely believe that most kids want to be good, where "good" is defined as "behaving in a way that I get approval from my parents".
Well said, I would just say "...behaving in a way that I get attention from my parents". Approval is better yhan disapproval, but both will do if a child lacks attention.
This explains why "bad" children often stay the way they are even when punished - this is how they get the most of their parents' attention. Attention is the main currency for children and the only way to raise a healthy adult is to give plenty of it to a child. But not as punishment.
Coincidentally, adults are not as different from children as most think we are.
My experience (and observations) at least.