Re:Bits of advice I wish I had known
by atoav on Friday April 29, 2022 @08:58AM
(#31204505)
> But there is a lesson. That the other person may or may not like you depending on how you behave and may or may not be willing to extend courtesy based on that.
This might be true on an symbolic level. But I am afraid children don't learn all that well on an symbolic level. They learn by imitation.
What you proposed would work if the parent refused to do something they would normally do (e.g. lift the kid on their shoulders), to teach them that it is okay to refuse to do something for others if they are mean to them.
What doesn't work is if the parent does something they ordinarily wouldn't do and blame it on the kid aka "look what you made me do". What this teaches the kid is that they can blame their own behavior on others if they think these others give them a valid reason to do so.
Parents always teach by what they do not by how they explain it.
This might be true on an symbolic level. But I am afraid children don't learn all that well on an symbolic level. They learn by imitation.
What you proposed would work if the parent refused to do something they would normally do (e.g. lift the kid on their shoulders), to teach them that it is okay to refuse to do something for others if they are mean to them.
What doesn't work is if the parent does something they ordinarily wouldn't do and blame it on the kid aka "look what you made me do". What this teaches the kid is that they can blame their own behavior on others if they think these others give them a valid reason to do so.
Parents always teach by what they do not by how they explain it.