> pressing an agenda by presenting information and then retroactively fitting your rationality into it

Healer, heal thyself.

I'm pretty clear about my agenda, and have been for a long time. As the Hindus put it, "May all beings everywhere be happy and free." One specific application of that is helping to end patriarchy, the millennia-old system of oppression of women.

You certainly have a facility for objecting so much to every twig and branch so that you don't even glimpse the forest. And obviously, I can't make you see the it, so I won't try. But just so it's clear for others, I think patriarchy is also damaging to men and that they especially need education in coping with a post-patriarchal world. It was certainly a struggle for me to throw off a lot of that nonsense. Women need less help, especially these days, because a) a lot of that education has taken place starting with the suffragettes, and b) a lot of the post-patriarchal changes for them are ones of increasing opportunity, and so are easier to adapt to.