I was in a deep dark pit of depression, mostly life long that got worse in the past few years. Sought help, found a therapist, and after 2 years she asked me if I ever considered I might have ADHD. I looked into it in December, every fucking thing made sense, got diagnosed in January and started my medication in March.

I'm still learning to live with it, but I've managed to understand how my brain ticks, why I'm in a constant search for pleasure, and now I have a theory why my life got so bad lately: I've quit my marijuana habit 8 years ago, I quit my smoking habit 2 years ago, and I've quit coffee because it doesn't play very nice with my anxiety and heart, and the more stimulants I've removed from my life, the less functional I've become, and even at my peak "drug" usage my motivation and focus was always outside my control, anyway. But at least I had the mental energy to do _things_. I was self medicating without knowing it.

I did suspect, when I started using Reddit 15 years ago the ADHD thing was a meme everybody said "yeah, I have that." It remained a meme for me, until, guess what, I actually have a problem and I shouldn't be struggling that much. The medication doesn't turn me into that Limitless movie, it gives me the chemicals needed to pick up trash off the floor, make boring phone calls and be a productive member of society. What's ordinary for most people, for me is absolutely mind blowing.