Technically, joining NATO is not the choice of those countries alone, but also of those countries already in NATO. But principally, the freedom to apply to join should be granted to any sovereign country. And that's exactly the problem: Russia doesn't see a whole lot of countries as sovereign but as 'temporarily misplaced'.

Yes that is true. The application needs to be confirmed. But it is not the business of any country other than the ones in the club and the country that applies.

Russia behaves like an abusive parent that says that their adult daughter cannot hang out with her friends.

>They could recognize that joining NATO is a ultimately the choice of the states that choose join NATO, and respect that. It is that simple.

Empirically, it's not!