Re:A dirty dish by the sink can be a big marriage problem
by Thlom on Wednesday April 13, 2022 @04:48PM
(#31020050)
Is it normal in the US that only one in a relationship is working? I don’t think I know anyone where only one in the relationship is working. To me it feels like the power dynamics in such a relationship quickly gets really toxic.
Re:A dirty dish by the sink can be a big marriage problem
by mensetmanusman on Thursday April 14, 2022 @08:42AM
(#31026150)
Many (mostly) women enjoy caretaking more than working for the machine. Definitely higher quality of life satisfaction is possible if the division of labor is agreed upon.
Complementary relationships can be far less stressful if each are sacrificing for the well being of the other.
Re:A dirty dish by the sink can be a big marriage problem
by steveBK123 on Wednesday April 13, 2022 @07:09PM
(#31021447)
Outside high cost of living / coastal / urban areas yeah.
Even a lot of these people may be two income couples but came from one income households, so they grew up with a father doing nothing/much less around the house and find it normal.
Re:A dirty dish by the sink can be a big marriage problem
by antisthenes on Wednesday April 13, 2022 @10:47PM
(#31022922)
Why is it not normal? Modern appliances make housekeeping basically a breeze. Unless you expect perfectly ironed shirts of something ridiculous like vacuuming every day.
Now if children are in play, then it's a whole different ballgame. It easily triples or quadruples the work that needs to get done around the house.
Even if there is a 2:1 income ratio, each side can feel they are contributing monetarily and collectively decide what tasks are worth doing vs paying for.
I can understand the psychology of both sides - the breadwinner thinks they are doing their job outside the house so why is the spouse not doing all the stuff inside the house.
Any subset of tasks breadwinner spouse pick up (like dishes or laundry) they expects a gold star sticker for doing extra. Meanwhile the homemaker spouse feels put upon for the 1000 other things they do around the house and dealing with the kids.
Likewise this is akin to the homemaker spouse tutored the neighbors kid for $100/week and then telling the 6-figure breadwinner that they are also contributing to the families income. Each side feels correct and like they are going above and beyond their scope..