You are arguing like the man whose wife wants to divorce him, and who concludes that the only way to stop the divorce would be to give in to every demand his wife ever makes, which is clearly unacceptable. Every marriage counselor will tell you: What escalates conflict is not so much “not giving in“, but “not listening“. Mearsheimer’s argument, in other words, is not that West needs to do everything Putin ever says. Instead, his argument is that the West is provoking Putin by treating him as if he is not to be taken serious, and as if Russia as a country is not to be taken serious.