>"I've hit 30 and my life is basically over" is just BS you're telling yourself.

I wouldnt categorize my internal struggles this way. Because I have already hit this point (below) despite being in my mid 30's now.

>you realize that since you're going to die anyway, why waste the time and die bored and mediocre?

That said, the struggle I find is its all a sliding scale. That I am butting up against realistic time limits.

That pushing more here (ie: career) means i have to sacrifice something else or re-prioritize a hobby, family, etc. And I have a good equilibrium. So how do i do it while no upsetting that and maintaining the things that keep me grounded and from burning out.

Ultimately i KNOW patience and waiting for the right time is probably the right answer. But life happens, and a buddy of mine, same age and kids and all just passed, and it again will make you reconsider perspective (for me, on several different "planes".)

One thing i have realized is that many that are very successful in a traditional sense, dont always have the best equilibrium and have achieved that at a cost. And I am not sure if thats a cost im willing to risk.

I really need a damn vacation maybe.