I dropped out of the process when a company asked me to get a reference from my current manager... for a job I had not yet left. I responded quizically and they amended it to "we'd make a conditional offer". I said I was uncomfortable leaving a job where I had (as I would hope most do) some guilt about putting them in a challenging position, wanting to keep a strong personal relationship and then saying "Hey, can you be a reference for my new (i.e. better) gig?" They couldn't udnerstand this perspective, so no thanks!

That's extremely bizarre

Old USA, and this is a famous tech, (YC Seeded, SF Bay Area), company (older, and semi-large, but not public yet).

I have had this 'references', but requiring a former manager was a first. The whole process had way more interviewing rounds than Meta and Google did. At least Google decided to skip the phone screen for me.

Sounds like Stripe. I gave a (peer) reference check for a former colleague. They asked a lot more than title and dates of employment.