For me the issue is that I now have (let me count) 15 different devices in my household with unique configuration needs that it’s up to me manage. I could handle it when it was 1, 2, 3. Now it’s just too much.

I recognize that this embarrassment of riches is in part my own fault. But this is my answer to your “why”

As someone who used to have a server in my dorm room but switched to outsourcing it I stopped because the list of technologies I had to keep track of kept monotonically growing and I had no interest in making it my day job.

If it becomes simple again I would gladly self-host.