I have found that Alexa does things randomly once a week or so, e.g. start playing music or responds to a question I didn't ask.

I would be concerned that Alexa would turn on the faucet silently without me knowing, potentially causing a flood.

I wouldn't buy one. Especially at that price point. But I admit that a faucet which could reliably do things like "dispense 6 ounces of water" is kind of a neat idea. But I wouldn't want it tied to Amazon or anything like that. It'd need to be self-contained, with it's own computer, speaker, mic, voice analysis, no internet connection required, and a reliable failure mode that never interferes with the handle working. In other words, something which will never exist.

Tea. Earl Grey. Hot.

>He had found a Nutri-Alexa machine which had provided him with a plastic cup filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

That's incredibly stupid. The onion article writes itself.