And I've never had crackly ass headphone jacks. Just works here.

Pull tabs are only slightly better. If the tabs break you're just back to prying off adhesive and the tabs do break if you're not careful.

And what are you going to do in 7 years when you're trying to get it working as a laptop for your kid or something and Apple tells you they no longer service that model as it's "vintage"?

My kids have current, supported Apple computers.

I've also replaced several batteries in Apple products, even without pull tabs and it's not difficult.

Regarding replacements, my mother's 6s just got a second new battery last month and it's still supported after 7 years.

Apple's vintage clock starts when they stop selling something. They sold the 6s until 2018. They rarely sell MBPs for more than a year so usually in 7 years they're done.

I'm glad you're currently well to do and can afford all new shit for your kids. Some people can't and sometimes a repair is the only option. Is it worth making repair considerably harder for a few extra mm of thinness and less than a hundred grams of weight? I'd argue no. Compare the repair of a 2010 MBP with one from 2016 and then tell me the 2016 one is easy.

There was a bit of a black hole I agree. The 2021 models are much improved.