The root of it, for me, is that most of my choices as I grow older are compromises for the sake of ease, or from of a sense of obligation to my wife and kids. Like I recognize that different, harder choices could make me richer, or leaner, or more accomplished, or whatever, but I'm often exhausted and such choices would often be harder on everyone else in the family too. So rather than ice cream and Lamborghinis and video games, my examples would be: living in a small downtown apartment, not having a TV, walking or bicycling everywhere, prioritizing 8 hours of sleep and another hour of exercise, and going into a long disconnected "deep work" state everyday. Instead, we live in a big house in the suburbs with a two-car garage for our minivan and tons of other stuff, and everybody watches too much streaming video, and sleep and exercise are things I do only after everything else is done, and I remain near-constantly connected for the people who depend on me. I love them, but I also just wish that I could "have it all."

> and everybody watches too much streaming video, and sleep and exercise are things I do only after everything else is done

I don't know, this kind of feels like the adult version of ice cream for breakfast.

Maybe what you're describing is the difference between dreaming something and actually doing it. There's nothing forcing any of us to watch a ton of streaming video other than our own choices, although it's hard to decide to go out and do something different once you're in that habit.

Upon further reflection: What you wrote is actually central to the idea that I'm trying to express. When I was younger, I thought that I'd always make different choices and live my life "better" than older people I knew (e.g. going to the gym everyday for a serious workout), but once I grew up I understood why most people do what they do (e.g. working out irregularly, because having so many other demands on their time and energy makes it hard, or due to injury), and now I'm living much the same way in many areas of life for the same reasons. That's the sad part.

It's more that my kids watch too much, because my wife and I need breaks to get other things done or rest. Not way too much, and it's carefully curated content, but it's still one of those things that I thought, before having kids, I wouldn't allow. But now I get it. Once they stop napping, it really is a cheap way to buy a couple hours of peace and quiet.

I feel ya. As a childless person of the same age, I have several of those things you mentioned. I count them as blessings but also see that there has been a big, big trade made for them. I see that my siblings have made different choices with different blessings. I suppose this is just life.

> I don’t see what’s sad about that, other than maybe the disappointment of losing naiveté.

From my own experience, some sadness is due to treating a few people with disdain in my youth. At times, I was an arrogant, pissy teen. I wish I could make amends, but some of those people are gone.

Luckily some of those people might have recognized themselves doing the same thing when they were younger and accepted your behaviour for nothing more than youth.

Thank you. That makes me feel a little better!

It's sad to discover that the happiness you yearned for doesn't exist.

It’s still nice to finally have that ice cream for breakfast every now and then.

If it's fine now, it was fine back then also.

the # if people in the US with glucose monitors says differently.

There is a difference between "for breakfast every now and then" and "all day every day". I have a feeling that those who would be putting themselves under the risk of using glucose monitors tend to fall more into the latter group.

I would guess 90% of people who's eat ice cream for breakfast would be the type to consistently make bad health choices.

what you're saying is just that maybe it's not fine now as it was not fine then (as usual, this depends on the particular person).