Circumstances differ of course but it helps to have as few notifications turned on as possible. I don't know how some people manage when their phone or computer is pinging them for just about every random event.

precisely My phone lives on DND. Only priority numbers get through on text.

I check it every two hours, on odd numbered hours.

If you text me expecting a response, and you aren't in my priority pool, I'll get back to you. After all, it is my phone, not yours.

My work slack is only available during my work day. Out of hours, it is closed.

I can remember when I was younger my mom getting pissed when the phone (landline) would ring and thinking jeez, chill out! Some years later I'm doing something trying to concentrate and I get like 20 dings in a row on some group text message and I almost toss my phone into the wall lol. Mostly only priority stuff gets through these days. Every now and then my sister will hit me with a rapid-fire 10 ding (one per sentence) message but thanks to the nuclear option silent mode switch I can usually shut that shit down by about the 3rd ding. What sucks though is I sometimes forget to unsilence it for days. Maybe that's an upside though.

It's about etiquette, not about your time. Remember what Emily Post says about hello[1], "On very informal occasions, it is the present fashion to greet an intimate friend with “Hello!” This seemingly vulgar salutation is made acceptable by the tone in which it is said. To shout “Hullow!” is vulgar, but “Hello, Mary” or “How ’do John,” each spoken in an ordinary tone of voice, sound much the same. But remember that the “Hello” is spoken, not called out, and never used except between intimate friends who call each other by the first name."

Saying "hello" is not some devious plan to interrupt you, but rather a thing that humans do rather than act like a bot.

[1]: https://www.bartleby.com/95/3.html

I don't blame the sender for the annoyingness of this as much as the notifications. No chat platform I've ever used automatically mutes the notifications for a few minutes when the rate hits >5 notifications in a minute.

Maybe I've missed the feature hidden somewhere? I'd really appreciate it for group chats in particular. I need to know there's a discussion, I don't need my phone to notify me for every single message.

That's much worse. But it's the same problem, no? People should just write the damn message and don't drag it out, then we'll all be happy.

Err, actually yes, I didn't realise but it is :)

While we're all venting: How's about when you're writing a considerate reply that takes a while because it's a complicated answer, and they just blooming fire off another random message in the middle, destroying thread chronology!

There are so many things like this that are challenges we just have to suck up.

Like, how do you write a multi-stage message where multiple stages are absolutely unavoidable, without the recipient answering just the first bit and not reading the rest?

I really struggle with it. (Because I am verbose. Overly verbose.)

But I try to frame that request in the context of each message.

Whereas someone I know has basically a copied and pasted demand letter at the top of each email, saying he won't reply unless people have read the whole thing. It's not as cute as the legendary Van Halen rider M&Ms request [0], and it just comes across as damaging.

[0]: http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/crime/van-halens-lege...