There is a certain level of arrogance in looking at how fundamentally important the family unit is for all of human history, and then deciding that this generation knows better than the billions who came before us and that marriage / family / kids is a sham.

And shockingly, depression and anxiety is on the rise, we have a "loneliness epidemic", etc because people can't seem to fill that void.

We could argue that modern technology-oriented cultures are even stretching the social fabric.

I'm nobody but it seems that survival made most mammals social, but we don't owe our survival to the group now, but to a blurry and large system. So why bother with people when I can swipe for all my needs /s

But the thing is, as an ex introvert I can understand, dealing with people is not easy. Just like dealing with love, intimacy, marriage, existence is not easy. But we used to try to find solutions of better quality. Not just "i'm out".

If that were how it worked, we'd expect Utah (the state with the lowest divorce rate) to have very low levels of depression and anxiety compared to the rest of the US. That is not what we see. I don't think it's realistic to say that the alienation of modern society is because we allow divorce.

Not a valid conclusion — you’re not controlling for all other factors that contribute to happiness, such as weather, social environment, local opportunities etc.

Definitely feel free to do all that work if you think there's a case to make. While I agree it's not an exhaustive analysis, I think it's much more rigorous than the comment it was meant to refute.

> There's a difference between "no one wants to rot in a bad relationship" and "no one wants to put the effort and time to make a relationship work", though.

This is a very timely question. There are a few topics about how easy our lives should be, how much effort is considered normal. And beyond efforts, the skills to know when, what and how to apply them to avoid just struggling 24/7.

"There's a difference between "no one wants to rot in a bad relationship" and "no one wants to put the effort and time to make a relationship work", though."

I am not sure, if I understand you right, but you seem to romantize the old version of marriage relationships.

Well, as far as I know, they had only very rarely something to do with love, but rather with violence and domination and "making the relationship work" meant beating the wife to submission. And one of the written duties of a wife were sex, whether they wanted, or not, so basically rape.

And the thought of leaving an abusive partner was considered sin, with real punishment (sometimes torture to death) for making those thoughts real.

It has not been even so long ago, that these laws were abolished in the west. And to my knowledge, they still exist de facto (or even de jure) in many parts of the world.

The only reason I can think of, of "making a relationship work", is when there are already kids, who need stability. Then both adults should get their act together and work it out like responsible, mature people. But in the cases I have witnessed, the children usually were acting more mature, than their parents.

I'm not sure how you made the leap from "lasting relationships require work" ---> "lasting relationships are inherently abusive and rapey".

All relationships require upkeep. If you never make any time for a friend, the friendship deteriorates. You need to make time for each other and show each other that you care.

The fact that you see this as abusive is perhaps revealing why marriage and lasting relationships are at an all time low.

And I do not know, how you made the leap from traditional (forced) marriages I was specifically talking about - to any relationship.