What you describe as utility is manipulating people, in a sense. You won't design a push door with handles implying it be pulled instead, so in a way, you're manipulating a user's action to push the door. I think you're assuming that manipulating people is used pejoratively, when I'm using it to mean "handle or control (a tool, mechanism, etc.), typically in a skillful manner," rather than "control or influence (a person or situation) cleverly, unfairly, or unscrupulously."