You joke but there are orthokeratology lenses which do just that. It's a contact lense worn overnight which compresses your eye during sleep.

To people considering LASIK I want to say try ortho-k first. You'll get the sharpness, the halos and the whole experience but at least it will be reversible. I've been on ortho-k for around a decade.

Here's a wikipedia link: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orthokeratology

That'll squish the lens, but the overall shape of the eyeball is what causes the myopia in most cases.

Tecnically the crystaline lens is in an anterior chamber inside your eye, so these contacts can't really squish the lens itself.

These contact lenses are squishing against your cornea. So in actual fact an anterior portion of your eyeball is being re-shaped.