I thought I was an alcoholic beyond help but it turns out I was just selfish. I used to drink to get drunk almost every day when I was living with someone, they drank too but not to the excess I did. Then one day they were gone, they passed away and suddenly I found myself alone and responsible for maintaining a home and taking care of several animals. I realized I could not risk something happening to me in my drunkenness and have no one around to help me or call for help, end up dead and leave my animals alone in the world with no one to care for them. So I quit, no shakes, no depression just a few cravings now and then for it but far greater of a feeling of loneliness and missing my best friend in the whole world than wanting a drink.

I don't know if it makes a difference but my alcohol of choice was beer and I consumed between 10-15 every night for around a decade. I still would consider myself an alcoholic because if I drink even one beer, I am going to keep drinking until they are all gone, but I guess I have the ability or wisdom to choose not to have that first drink, or maybe I'm just co-dependent without anyone to make it happen. Lucky for me I suppose.

I have a theory about this which may or may not be correct. When you drink the first drink it has much larger effect on you than the second.

So first beer has an effect and you can make the decision whether you want that effect (with its pros and cons) or not. But if you say yes, then there is less reason to say no to the 2nd drink. After 2nd drink there is even less reason to say no to the 3rd and so on.

So when you contemplate taking that first drink ask yourself: If I do, is there any reason why I wouldn't keep on drinking after this first drink? And by the logic above, there really is less of a reason to say no to the 2nd drink than the first and so on.

But curiously and luckily this logic means that there is also a big reason to NOT have that first drink, because you can assume that its effect is not only the effect that one glass has on you, but also the effect that it makes you drink more. That is a good reason to not drink the first drink. If you don't say no now, why would you say no later?

So I wouldn't consider you an alcoholic just because your first beer leads to the 2nd and so on. You are not alcoholic you are just being logical. If you have a reason to drink the first beer then you also have a reason to drink the 2nd and so on. But luckily because you are logical you can see that it is not a good idea to drink that first beer in the first place.

This is true. I feel for people that struggle, I really do but it should also be acknowledged that many good and enduring relationships—-romantic and platonic—-were catalyzed by alcohol. Maybe the alcohol wasn’t strictly necessary but empirically it sure helps. That’s not something we should be so quick to dismiss when weighing costs and benefits.

Yeah, alcohol helps us strip away our stuffy adult self and be children again, enjoying life in the moment nevermind the consequences. Thing is, with enough practice and humility, we can express a childlike nature without alcohol. Becoming a parent helped me do this; now I don’t much care what other people think. And, I’m more willing to ask questions of strangers or people I want to get to know. Getting older and accepting death may help with this, too.

I really appreciate this insight. Met my wife at a nightclub 19 years ago, me inebriated, her much less so, and we're still going strong!

I reread what I wrote and don't see where I said what happened to me happens to everyone who drinks