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Re:The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longi... by pessimizer on Thursday January 13, 2022 @01:57PM (#29925020)
I disagree. If the men are doing what you suggest, and find that they aren't capable of committing to a sexless lifetime and leave, that's even more misery heaped on the victim of abuse.

Pretending like one pain cancels another out is counterproductive. Pain causing pain doesn't just stop there, it's nonlinear.

Also suggesting that someone is basically an abuser for mentioning the pain of the families of abused people is more than counterproductive, it's gross.

Re:The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longi... by PaulHoule on Thursday January 13, 2022 @03:35PM (#29926461)
I posted this article and it's an issue I became aware of because of my personal connection. I know it is a lot bigger than the suffering I've felt.

Although I think the experience of ordinary men is invisible and often systematically erased (such as by people like the one you are replying to) I am not going to say that the paper omits the impact that sexual abuse has on partners because the kind of longitudinal study that paper is doing is stupendously difficult. (Read it and they'll tell you why!)

Anything that hurts one person's mental health has an extended effect on the community. If a sexual abuse victim flakes out at work because of mental health issues that hurts their employer. She might well cause suffering to her female friends. I've also seen that a woman's ability to enjoy pleasure in her own body or with other woman as a lesbian can also be impaired because of sexual abuse.

A study like that can only scratch at the surface of what a crime like that does to society as a whole.

Re:The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longi... by greenonions on Thursday January 13, 2022 @04:59PM (#29927498)
Indeed the suffering from abuse can reach everyone around them. And the suffering of partners is very real, as a loving intimate relationship is one of life's great joys.

I suppose that I was struck by the above comment mostly because it is so focused on the suffering of abused women's partners as to be jarring in the context of the OP. These sensibilities are my own however, and I should not judge so hastily

Re:The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longi... by PaulHoule on Thursday January 13, 2022 @06:20PM (#29928418)
Thanks for the recognition!
Re:The impact of sexual abuse on female development: a longi... by greenonions on Thursday January 13, 2022 @04:44PM (#29927308)
#1 My point is not to suggest that men should leave, but to recognize that they actually value the relationship more than sex. From this standpoint, I would hope, they can use this foundation to build an intimidate relationship for themselves and partners. #2 This is true. #3 I did not intend to insinuate that poster is also an abuser, though clearly from my post there is, which poster did not deserve.