(yes I've heard all of these "reasons")
1: Just calling it "the STL" is a key sign of living in the past--pretty much nobody uses the actual STL anymore: What we use is called the C++ Standard Library.
I won't deny your prior, but my prior is that people who complain about the use of the word "STL" to mean "C++ Standard Library" (and ignore that the latter is 10 times as many keystrokes) do so only to flaunt their knowledge, not because anyone actually experiences confusion nowadays.
Supporting evidence: https://github.com/microsoft/STL
For example iostream isn't part of Stepanov's idea, Stroustrup created that bundle of craziness in the 1980s and today it's part of the Standard Library, but it was not part of STL which only came into existence in the 1990s (although Stepanov's ideas about generic programming are older).
I've never worked with a place using C++ that didn't make their own core libraries. As a low-level language, there's almost always a way to get some performance benefit by starting from scratch for your specific case.