I know I should do better for other people because a) my success in life has depended on others to a large degree and b) I’m not doing much to help others succeed

I know I worry about my own security because I grew up quite poor and I struggle to imagine that things will still be secure tomorrow, or even by half way through the day

If I could overcome that I would likely feel more at ease and be better off for it. At the same time, I’d likely enjoy helping others with resources like time, wealth, and energy which I felt more secure to offer. I immensely enjoy opportunities to help others when I do allow myself to do it, and I believe I would continue to enjoy it if I did it more

Some of this is hypothetical, but I figured I’d outline my thinking so it seems less like I’m beating myself up for no reason. You’re right - without questioning or exploring the thoughts, I’d likely be pursuing the wrong thing or for the wrong reasons. I think several lines of questioning are how I got here though.

Having said that, I’m certain “being good” will never mean a singular thing and as I make efforts to enact change, more questions and more answers will put me on a different track. Absolutely.

For what it’s worth, a major source of the question and desire to do good or to be a better person came from reading and researching stoic philosophy. I don’t adhere to it or love all of it, but I do love the notion of living in accordance with nature. As a social animal, what are my duties to those around me? In all practicality, what is the best thing I can do for the people I have duties towards? As a dad, a friend, a neighbour. Something about that framing really resonates with me. Upon reading it years ago and letting it incubate, I came to realize I am fairly poor at fulfilling my duties.

I disagree, because I think you're not taking into account at what stage you are. You're realizing it would be better if ... , that's great. Nourish that, water that seed. Don't judge the sappling as if it was a big tree.