Re:How to talk about autism respectfully
by danShumway on Wednesday December 29, 2021 @10:35PM
(#29733241)
> How else could "misgendering" someone even be any kind of offense?
There's a big oppression angle to this that can't really be ignored or separated out from trans experiences, but I'm going to try to ignore it for just a second.
In a world with no transgender discrimination at all, I empathize with not really caring that much? I'm male, I use he/him pronouns, but if someone called me "they" or "she", I really don't think that would register in my brain as a negative thing. I think I'd be pretty OK with that.
But what I have found out is that this is very atypical even among most cisgender people I know. And (again, ignoring the oppression angle, which can't be ignored, it is intrinsically tied to how people's identities and preferences form, but...) I have just kind of learned to tolerate that not only do a lot of transgender people care about this, but a lot of people in general seemingly across the entire world seem to care about this. I strongly suspect (and in fact know, because I pay some attention to UK politics and the debates happening there) that a lot of people in Europe who are cisgender appear to care a heck of a lot about what pronouns people use to describe them.
I don't think being as agnostic about it as I am is the norm for most people, and I don't think that's wrong or broken, I have things that I care about too. So if someone does want me to use a pronoun that reflects them better, I don't think it's bad that they care about that pronoun being used accurately. It appears to be just kind of an intrinsic thing for many people.
There's a big oppression angle to this that can't really be ignored or separated out from trans experiences, but I'm going to try to ignore it for just a second.
In a world with no transgender discrimination at all, I empathize with not really caring that much? I'm male, I use he/him pronouns, but if someone called me "they" or "she", I really don't think that would register in my brain as a negative thing. I think I'd be pretty OK with that.
But what I have found out is that this is very atypical even among most cisgender people I know. And (again, ignoring the oppression angle, which can't be ignored, it is intrinsically tied to how people's identities and preferences form, but...) I have just kind of learned to tolerate that not only do a lot of transgender people care about this, but a lot of people in general seemingly across the entire world seem to care about this. I strongly suspect (and in fact know, because I pay some attention to UK politics and the debates happening there) that a lot of people in Europe who are cisgender appear to care a heck of a lot about what pronouns people use to describe them.
I don't think being as agnostic about it as I am is the norm for most people, and I don't think that's wrong or broken, I have things that I care about too. So if someone does want me to use a pronoun that reflects them better, I don't think it's bad that they care about that pronoun being used accurately. It appears to be just kind of an intrinsic thing for many people.