I can’t speak for the OP but as someone with mental health issues, I find a great deal of comfort in learning to cope. I honestly don’t know if I’d choose to magic away half of my issues tomorrow: I know myself today, I know how to get through the day… getting better can be exhausting, and scary. Better the pain you know.

It's honestly hard to say if you haven't tried it. You know your pain, but that's all you know. The experiences behind these substances are incredibly varied. Infinitely so. And they can heal you.

You hit it square on. The hell of terrible lows contrasted with after previously unknown highs abated but the gasoline-in-her-veins anger persisted, and the coping skills she had from more than a decade of incredibly bitter therapy stopped being right for the situation.