Sometimes this _can_ be costly. For example with something like autoscaling, thats an active system I've seen fail when seemingly unrelated systems are failing. The result is scaling out systems intentionally ahead of time to deal with oversubscription or burst traffic which can leave you with (costly) idle compute.
I don't mind this tradeoff personally, but can understand that budget constraints are going to be different org to org.
It's like the duality of modular code. If you want to manage one change in a lot of places, it's easiest to change it in the one module that everything else sources. But that means that one change to that module can take down everything. The alternative where you copy+paste the same change everywhere is the most resilient to failure, but also the most difficult and expensive.
AWS provides a lot of modular, dynamic things because that's what their customers want to use. But using each of those things increases the probability of failure. It's up to the customer to decide how they want to design their system using the components available.... and the customers always chose the easy path rather than the resilient path.
The great thing is that with AWS, at least you have the option to design a super freaking reliable system. But ultimately there's no way to make it easy, short of a sort of "Heroku for super reliable systems". (I know there are a few, but I don't know anything about them)
I've managed to stick to EC2/ELB and S3 as passive systems for the vast majority of what we build at my org (~90% of our stack). And for the most part, AWS failures are hitless for us as a result.
Agreed; however, this is somewhat difficult to do correctly. There are all sorts of systems that might have hidden dependencies on managed services. e.g. AWS IAM roles will almost always be checked at some point if your services need to interact with AWS managed services.
I think cloud providers could meet developers half way here, by providing ways to reduce API usage; but I'm not sure if it aligns with their incentives.