But we're talking about a status page which should be basically static. In it's simplest form you need a rack in 2+ random colos and a few people to manage the page update framework. Then you make teams submit the tests that are used to validate SLA. Run the tests from a few DCs and rebuild the status page every minute or two.

Maybe add a CDN. This shit isn't rocket science and being able to accurately monitor your own systems from off infrastructure is the one time you should really be separate.