> I think this is a two-fold thing. A desire for self-actualisation and a desire for recognition.
It feels like that. I never really understood that I had a desire for recognition before and so I mostly ignored it, but these days it's getting harder.
> My other issue is that I've spent so long being creative in a commercial setting I find it very hard not to look at everything through a product lens.
That doesn't help too. Switching before "work mode" and "home mode" when coding takes a bit of time for me, which makes it harder to do things as I don't have that much time after work.
I have a very creative job and it provides me a lot out creative outlet but that doesn't stop me daydreaming about making something of my own and that desire is something I struggle with a lot. Interestingly it's become more acute as I've got older, had kids and have more time that is taken up by home-life. Before I could throw myself into other hobbies that have largely fallen by the wayside. It doesn't help that my health took a large oopsie this year and I'm still getting back on my feet from that. I've very slowly started scratching that itch and every time that I do I definitely feel more relaxed.
My other issue is that I've spent so long being creative in a commercial setting I find it very hard not to look at everything through a product lens.