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Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by refurb on Monday November 15, 2021 @10:18AM (#29228390)
As a parent who got 6 months that barely fucking scratches the surface of the time it take to raise a human.

Subsidize me until they are in public school and I’ll high five you.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by echelon on Monday November 15, 2021 @01:51PM (#29231035)
> Subsidize me until they are in public school and I’ll high five you.

I know this is an exaggeration, but it drew my interest. This expects that the rest of us have to work to subsidize you having children for five to six years.

I'm wholly on board with helping parents raise children. Children are our future. But at some threshold of subsidization this equation tips and actively offloads the entire burden onto those without children.

Both of my parents had jobs when I was growing up. Why are we suddenly expecting this to change? Childcare can be paid for at rates under minimum wage in aggregate. Look at our school system and daycare businesses. Just because you think your child deserves only the best does not make it economical, and lots of people make this work. Thousands of years of child rearing has happened in suboptimal conditions.

Raising children has been an incredible chore more often than not throughout history. It's only been briefly punctuated by moments of ease, and even then, it wasn't evenly distributed. Children are not easy.

I think modern parents are seeing their childfree peers and remarking on the delta in quality of life.

I honestly don't mean this as an attack. I'm just interested in the varying perspectives on this.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by cmrdporcupine on Monday November 15, 2021 @02:30PM (#29231566)
What has changed is that due to labour mobility and contemporary society generally the extended family has become a non-thing for so many of us.

If we're expected to move wherever for work, then that wherever needs to provide support. Because right now I'm hours from my sole remaining inlaw and a whole country apart from my own parents and brother, and it's been hell raising children like this. And not just young children; my teenagers' mental health would be much better if they were to have their uncle and grandma nearby.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by deanCommie on Monday November 15, 2021 @04:59PM (#29233370)
> This expects that the rest of us have to work to subsidize you having children

We can obviously unpack all the ways that this is abused, but generally speaking children are necessary for the continuation of the species. Children are also absolutely a burden on the parents, physically, emotionally, and financially.

So yes, broadly speaking, I would expect the childfree to disproportionately contribute into a societal pool to offset for the fact that they are existing in human society but not contributing their part to it's ongoing propagation.

Ultimately though, you're right - no parent should expect to have the same lifestyle as their childfree counterpart. Not with free time, disposable income, or even day-to-day "happiness".

> Both of my parents had jobs when I was growing up. Why are we suddenly expecting this to change?

Mine too. Here's what I think has changed: in that era (and for much of human history), it was assumed/expected that it "took a village" to raise children. Families stayed closer together - the previous generation was around to help with childrearing. And in general, communities took care of everyone's children in a pool that would be considered completely outlandish today. Heck, the concept of a Wet Nurse [1] is something that would probably explode most people's minds today. I bet at least one person will read this comment and not realize that this was something that was completely ubiquitous and standard for much of human history. Can you imagine that existing today? It would be inconceivable. Not that we need it since the advent of formula, but the point is simply that societies helped take care of children more in the past than they do now.

Today, people move further from home from work (losing direct family access), have children later in life (less energy to contribute/harder to tradeoff career responsibilities), and build fewer local community social bonds (online relationships may be meaningful but they don't help babysit).

I don't think we have adjusted accordingly yet.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wet_nurse

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by foogazi on Monday November 15, 2021 @05:57PM (#29234058)
> people move further from home from work (losing direct family access),

Sounds like personal choices to me

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by desmosxxx on Monday November 15, 2021 @07:29PM (#29234955)
This is more than a personal choice, it's a reality of our economy and the social / economic mobility is a net positive. maybe some of this will change with wfh movement
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by leetcrew on Monday November 15, 2021 @11:14PM (#29236733)
what do you mean by that? the most common jobs (retail, food, medicine, construction, etc.) exist pretty much everywhere there's a critical mass of people living. you don't need to relocate to get the kinds of work most people do. the people that benefit most from relocating are specialists who already get paid above the median and/or want to follow their niche passion. good for them! but I'm not sure it's something that deserves to be subsidized further.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by desmosxxx on Monday November 15, 2021 @07:32PM (#29234984)
+1 My wife and I both moved away from our families long before we had kids. I think the age of having kids also plays into the moving away for work as it's something that's just not on your mind.

Anyways, the difference between our family unit and our friends who have local family & ties is night and day different.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by meheleventyone on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:11PM (#29232069)
It sounds totally bonkers if you’re not used to it but this is actually the norm in other countries. Both of us had comparatively long parental leave for both kids. Both kids went into really nice state kindergarten before they were 18 months. Before that if we were poorer we’d have our childcare subsidised. Both kids get things like a sports club grant each year, free dental care and free healthcare. There are state run after school clubs and so on.

The amazing thing to me is you think the OP was asking for something unbelievable.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by echelon on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:24PM (#29232223)
I'm trying to find reasonable thresholds and weigh the societal pros and cons.

> The amazing thing to me is you think the OP was asking for something unbelievable.

The five years that OP alluded to is a really long time to not be working. That's 5/40 years for any given career (for a single child), meaning one eighth of a childfree person's productivity has to cover for it. At least at this extreme scale.

> Both of us had comparatively long parental leave for both kids.

How long was it? I'm genuinely curious.

Again, I'm not against subsidizing childcare and supporting children. Some of the expectations of parents seem to be really high, especially to someone whose parents both worked throughout my early childhood.

The current costs of childcare in my area are $80-$250/wk for infants unless you're going for something super Bougie for your baby.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by meheleventyone on Monday November 15, 2021 @04:03PM (#29232721)
Three months each with six months shared.

My friends and coworkers who’ve lived in the US describe pre-school childcare as dystopian. Even when expensive.

If you think of it as 5/(40 * 2) or if you had two kids relatively close together 7/(40 * 3) the math is significantly better. It’s also very telling that caring for kids is not seen as being productive.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by sokoloff on Monday November 15, 2021 @06:13PM (#29234211)
Where does the 40*3 term come from? I'm assuming the 5/(40*2) is 5 years of subsidy out of two 40-year careers. I can't figure where the 3 term is coming from unless it's 2 children from 3 total people or something else that I'm missing.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by meheleventyone on Tuesday November 16, 2021 @01:57AM (#29237697)
Yes it’s three careers. I say just before it if you have two kids close together. Two years is a normal gap. So seven years of subsidy out of three forty year careers. The mother and two children each have forty years of “productivity”.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by sokoloff on Tuesday November 16, 2021 @05:11AM (#29238865)
(I think) That only works if neither child is eligible for this leave during their career.

If you imagine Adam and Betty have two kids Charlie and Debbie who have two kids Earl and Felicia who have Gary and Helen… each generation receives N years of leave income from (2M - N) years of work income. You can’t take Betty, Charlie, and Debbie’s work income (or total productivity) against just Betty’s leave income.

I think you take Adam and Betty’s combined leave against their combined M years and M years minus N years of leave, C&D’s N against their 2M-N, etc. (you can time-shift it however you like if you want to think of some generation paying for a different generation, but the long-run math doesn’t change for replacement rate births)

In your example, this seems like 7 years of 73 years (9.6%) is going to this program, not 7/120 (5.8%)

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by meheleventyone on Wednesday November 17, 2021 @02:02AM (#29249968)
It’s quite hard to follow what you mean there so I’ll assume the extra detail is correct. If you wanted to model more detail think about the growth of the effect if those children have children. That really starts to drive down that percentage.

My point was to show roughly that worrying about the cost of productivity loss when having children is the only way to sustain human productivity doesn’t add up.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by closeparen on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:23PM (#29232206)
Big difference between providing a free/affordable childcare center vs. paying the parent to not work for 5 years.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by meheleventyone on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:56PM (#29232614)
Yes but I didn’t take the OP as wanting not to work or needing all their expenses covered. Subsidise doesn’t necessarily mean that.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by Terr_ on Monday November 15, 2021 @02:32PM (#29231589)
> But at some threshold of subsidization this equation tips and actively offloads the entire burden onto those without children.

True, but on a long enough timeframe one could also view it as a repayment from the people who (with or without children) were once children-being-subsidized themselves.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by robocat on Monday November 15, 2021 @05:21PM (#29233643)
The taxes of people without children already subsidise schooling, healthcare and social welfare (benefits for parents).

The point stated was that there needs to be a threshold. You have introduced another topic entirely, and the person you are answering implied nothing about your topic.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by echelon on Monday November 15, 2021 @04:08PM (#29232781)
That's a great point, actually. Inverse social security.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by anoonmoose on Monday November 15, 2021 @02:06PM (#29231239)
> offloads the entire burden onto those without children

Are you including "people with children over the age of five to six years" in this group? Because it seems like they would be helping to raise others people's children (in your words) but would also have benefitted.

According to the first Google result I found it looks like in 2018 only 15% of women age 50 were childless. A first-order approximation assuming younger generations have kids at the same rate and it's the same for both genders (neither of these are guaranteed but it's a starting point) would lead me to believe that more than most people have children and would benefit from a policy like this over the course of their lives. People without cars help pay for roads, people without children pay for public schools...I'm not really seeing much here to suggest there's an undue burden on those without children.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by humanwhosits on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:01PM (#29231939)
> This expects that the rest of us have to work to subsidize you having children

This is exactly how society works for ages 5-18 and we call it 'school', how is 0-4 different?

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by echelon on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:04PM (#29231980)
It was my impression that the OP wanted subsidized parental leave until age 5 so that they could spend 1:1 time with their child and family needs.

Public school is typically less than $50/day per student. I vaguely suggested minimum wage stipends for an extended parental leave (1 year+), and this would be more than we spend on public schooling.

Lots of poor families make childcare work on shoestring budgets and have done so all throughout history. My parents did.

How much money is enough? How much is too much?

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by foogazi on Monday November 15, 2021 @05:49PM (#29233963)
> How much money is enough? How much is too much?

Depends on who is paying

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by nickff on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:05PM (#29231984)
You're comparing very different levels of welfare/wealth transfer.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by Apes on Tuesday November 16, 2021 @12:10PM (#29243147)
There are many children where you have a choice:

* Subsidize them with 15 years of child care for a relatively small amount now, and they will become productive members of society.

* Do nothing now, and in 15 years be forced to subsidize them via crime, the justice system, and outreach programs for the remainder of their life.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by _bixt on Monday November 15, 2021 @02:57PM (#29231891)
You are asking for an incredibly high amount of welfare, essentially "everyone else in society should pay me for 5 years because I chose to have a kid". I'm choosing to have a kid too, but I'm taking the personal responsibility path of saving and paying for it on my own. Perhaps there is some middleground, but 5 years is absolutely absurd.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by KaiserPro on Monday November 15, 2021 @04:01PM (#29232685)
I see what you're saying there, but perhaps look at it this way:

our comfortable retirement is dependent on a good crop of reasonably successful children being born now, or in the previous 5 years.

It benefits us that those children are brought up to be balanced, rational pragmatic people. Perhaps extended child care might be the thing that does it?

I suspect that five years is indeed too much.

However perhaps the answer is one year "off" plus cheap, good quality child care from 1 year plus?

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by croo on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:34PM (#29232338)
Uhh, it's 3 years where I live (though the welfare money for the last one and half year is very low and lots of mother go back to work before that)

I would say 3 year is pretty good as kids starts to gain a lot from socializing after that age.

Why would this be absurd? It's perfectly normal. Looking after a toddler is hard 7/24 work with little time to spare. Of course you can go to work and instead pay for a house cleaner and a baby sitter to look after your house and your kid because.. work is more important? Or what is your argument here?

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by _bixt on Monday November 15, 2021 @04:02PM (#29232707)
I believe in taking time away from work to raise kids. In fact, I am taking several years away from work now for that purpose. What I disagree with is who should pay for it. I'm paying for my living expenses and raising my child from my savings that I earned at my generous paying job. I think the government should pay for up to perhaps 3 months for raising kids (and it shouldn't be based on your salary, but tied to some universally agreed upon basic living wage), but any more than that should be self-financed. There is a set amount of handouts society can give out before it implodes, and there are far better uses for that money than giving you the privilege of a plush lifestyle while you choose to stay at home with your toddler.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by jseban on Monday November 15, 2021 @04:26PM (#29232982)
Yeah this makes perfect sense. Paid parental leave is just a welfare system like any other, and has the same drawbacks as always. People act as if it's some invention to create free time out of thin air.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by croo on Tuesday November 16, 2021 @02:15PM (#29245120)
I see your point but it smells like kids should be a privilege of the generously paid and financially intelligent.

In Europe the baby boomer generation reached retirement and in the meantime the number of kids per household decreased. There is not enough people to pay the pension of the old and many governments are motivated to increase the number of kids by any means - like making it a financially acceptable or even desired to have 3+ children.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by 1auralynn on Monday November 15, 2021 @07:18PM (#29234854)
I mean it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing. If we decoupled health insurance from FTE, then maybe there would be more part-time options that would allow for some flexibility. Hire a biweekly housekeeper and a nanny for 4 hours a day 4 days a week, still get to spend lots of time with your kid AND have some meaningful engagement with other adults and contribute to society according to your skill level.

That's basically my plan, but running a business/contracting/freelancing is not for everyone. Sooo thankful I have my own insurance though.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by PragmaticPulp on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:23PM (#29232209)
This actually highlights a major misunderstanding in parental leave discussions: Most government-sponsored paid parental leave programs in other countries aren't paying 100% salary during the leave.

Sweden has one of the more generous programs that pays up to $41K/year (USD equivalent) or 80% of your income, whichever is lower. That amount is actually quite good if you're living modestly, but it may not be what people earning $100-150K have in mind when they see "paid parental leave".

Definitely better than nothing, though!

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by Cd00d on Monday November 15, 2021 @05:33PM (#29233783)
I think parent asked for subsidy, not total compensation of expenses.

I have two kids, 2.5 years apart, and there was one year in NYC where a small family daycare was running us ~$5k per month in childcare. We'd been aiming for the kids to be a bit further apart, partly for financial reasons, but shrug, it didn't happen that way (first kid took a lot longer of trying than the second). We're fortunate in that we can afford that, but it did impact our long-term savings and eventual home ownership.

I honestly don't know what the working poor do. I guess you're not aloud to move away from extended family.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by mattferderer on Monday November 15, 2021 @12:21PM (#29229827)
I would suggest a compromise of "until they have all of their primary teeth". There is no sleep until all those **** are in.
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by sokoloff on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:24PM (#29232219)
Is there anyone who wouldn’t high five someone who pays them for five years without needing to go into work?
Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by jbreiding on Monday November 15, 2021 @12:17PM (#29229767)
I would argue we just need to bring public school earlier.

We don’t need this tied to an employer like health insurance as this is something that benefits us all.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by jbreiding on Monday November 15, 2021 @12:24PM (#29229855)
My word choices might not have been the best here.

But consider if everyone was able to take the first year at some percentage less of regular salary. Then public funded care available with learning included?

My wife would have preferred this to having exhausted fmla just before giving birth because of early complications.

Returning to work was not an option for her, 6 years later returning to work was one of the most emotionally draining experiences for her.

Re:Without parental leave I might be dead by belorn on Monday November 15, 2021 @03:01PM (#29231942)
Plato suggested that the state should have communal rearing of children.

We could have a society were children goes to public school as soon they can take formula.