For external use only: https://www.vice.com/en/article/kbybpz/nintendo-switchs-joy-...

> [Editor's note: Motherboard can't in good conscience recommend that you insert a Joy-Con into any of your orifices. Please don't try this at home.]

> I left a voicemail for Nintendo asking if this is by design and to see if playing anally is an approved means of using the Joy-Con. They did not return my call, and after reading this article, they probably never will.

Whelp, that's enough internet for one day.