I'd be willing to bet whichever paid browser popped up would both still keep the telemetry _and_ fuck us with subscription based, you-won't-ever-own-your-browser payment scheme.

Unlikely. I can't name even 1 major paid for product that doesn't have telemetry and other forms of tracking.

Perhaps, but they will still optimize to maximize sales then, i.e. do what sells to as many people as possible, not what is good for you (an advanced user in particular). In fact I'm Okay with Firefox but would rather pay for a good alternative to Facebook where I would be a customer rather than a commodity.