OTOH I noticed that kids < 10yrs tend to get overexcited or even slightly aggressive after watching TV. They're more likely to quarrel, if you have two or more. Obviously this might also depend on what they're watching, but if it's a TV show and they get denied watching another episode it does resemble a drug addict not getting their next fix somehow. ;-)

We have some casual acquaintance we visited two or three times. Their then-4yo was constantly on an iPad on YouTube Kids, switching videos every 20 seconds. Just watching him was infuriating. You had rather innocent or mundane videos of e.g. model trains driving around, but before you could start to pay attention to any details or any kind of narrative, he'd switch to a video of kids in a swimming pool full of orbeez, then something Sesame-street-like. And they just let him keep doing that since he'd throw a tantrum if they take away the iPad. They have to let him watch that stuff at the table, otherwise he wouldn't eat. Fast forward to last year, he got into elementary school and was absolutely unable to pay attention to anything. Teachers made him see doctors, he's on medication now, but that was half a year ago so no idea how things are going today.

Now I'm sure someone will pull the "are we sure we got cause and effect right here?" card, but even if that kid had some kind of predisposition, nobody can tell me that just putting up with the kid's tantrums when he was still four (or whatever age he started at, this was just when I first saw this) and taking away the iPad, going outside more would not have significantly improved the outcome here.

The problems you described seem to me like they have nothing to do with screen time and everything to do with consistent, attentive parenting. We definitely agree that that is crucial.

Sure, it's not as simple as having one isolated reason, but would you expect the same outcome if you replaced the iPad by books and leave everything else the same? I'm having a hard time imagining this. Yes, it's multiple factors coming together, but nothing beats the destructive impact of too much TV/smartphone/tablet on little kids, except maybe severe abuse or actual drugs.

No it means that literally nothing else makes the kid behave this specific way. It's a catatonic state where the kids senses are clearly overwhelmed, they do not move at all(!!) and their responsiveness degrades to near zero. After screen time the otherwise normal kid starts to behave erratically, seems like they have the need to compensate with more movement for the monitoneless time. If you try to talk about what they saw it becomes clear that they failed to process what they saw and multiple days and multiple hours of talking would be needed to wade through something as simple as half hour of David Attenborough animal documentary.

Wether enough scientific fact has been gathered to understand the inner workings and circumstances are irrevelant, the cognitive weight of TV exist as a matter of fact.

Now there are of course difference between TV and monitor and screen time. What causes the problems are TV like stuff - passive, movie-ish information. Drawing lines in paint or typing buttons to see them appear on notepad is definetly another thing - the information flow and actions there are controlled by the kid and there is another huge difference if the parent is there explaining. Not the monitor itself is the problem, but the absolutely overwhelming quantities of raw information which designed specifically to catch and hold an adults attention. Kids simply have no means to absorb or escape it.

On my experience kids over 4-6 years starts to absorb some of the information and kids over 8 can sit through a disney movie with sufferable consequences.

Wait, this does not match my experience at all. I don't allow my daughter to watch youtube or have a tablet, but she plays the nintendo switch.

She describes everything, she learns stuff, and even tell me about the game afterwards by herself (she is 3). The major problem is that she does not realize when she is bored or tired. To be fair, that's a problem with many activities, but boredom with toys is way more evident (she would just step away), while with videogames she would just get incredibly demanding (I can't do this, I can't do that, this is scary, changes level, even though it's stuff she has already done). She also chooses and replays the same levels to discover more (and she does!)

To further illustrate that point, would you say that someone who is deeply concentrated while reading a book or solving a puzzle looks like they're on drugs?

If the kid throws massive temper tamtrum when I want it to put off the book/puzzle and go eat dinner with family, absolutely yes. If the kid refuses to engage with others, mistreats siblings or other relatives when the activity ends, yes.

If the kid reads/solves and then behaves normally, then it is different.

If your child throws any kind of tantrum when you tell them to do something, regardless of activity, that is an indicator something isn't right in the core of how they were raised: Tantrums are bad behaviour and should never happen. That's entirely separate from what they are doing at the time, good behaviour (towards you) should be entirely independent of the environment.

Tantrums are a normal part of development. Too many might be a behavioral problem, but it is flatly not true and flies in the face of all childhood development studies to say they should never happen.

I have observed, as many other parents have as well, that if the kids spend too much time in front of the screen (> 20 minutes, give or take), they become resistant, moodier, and worse behaved. This is not true if we're playing a board game or having reading time. So, I think a bit of moderation is important.

Incidentally, since having kids, I've also noticed that I am short-tempered if I spend too much time in front of the screen, a good reminder to take a walk a few times during the day.

Our 3.5 YO doesn’t really have any device time (though she likes playing with a calculator, and typing on an neo alphasmart), and she absolutely loves reading. But we recently introduced nature documentaries (blue planet, planet earth). And yup! She throws little tantrums at the end. We’re all super engaged as we watch them together, and I think they’re a good supplement to her kid encyclopedias and stuff. The tantrum are less severe if I preface the viewing with, “when this is done, we’re going to turn it off and do x.” It helps to prepare her for what to expect, rather than be surprised by “no more!”

1.) Different activities and situations cause different behaviors.

2.) What you said is purely ridiculous. The "tamptrums should never happen" is wishful thinking. It is a goal to produce adult that don't throws tamptrums.

3.) Kids behavior is in fact heavily dependent on environment. Half of classroom management and child raising is literally all about that.

4.) Even many adults rage when gaming and after. Evan adults are irritable and annoyed after gaming.

Agreed, plus the personality matters. Some kids are more agrressive or tantrum prone than others, given the same environment. You can attempt to control it, but it's impossible to control and correct 100%. Kids have personalities!

> Tantrums are bad behaviour and should never happen

This is not true and is extremely unrealistic thinking.

Also: some traits of your children's personality form very young, regardless of your style of parenting. Your influence is strong of course, but some things are just due to the way your kid is wired. You can set an example, and be firm about bad behavior, but some shit is going to happen anyway, tantrums included, depending on the personality of your children.

That's unrealistic. Plenty adults would be annoyed by having to do a chore that interrupts what they are doing. Yeah changing the diaper comes with a groan every time.

And to hell who said you get used to the smell. Second kid and I still breathe with my mouth during the diaper change.