Two reasons why this won't work:

1) The GPU probably already comes with a driver CD that can't have this serial number marked as stolen.

2) Even if you use a downloaded driver, you can just use the last version that didn't contain the serial.

You'll be left out of future driver updates, but that is of no concern to miners.

At least in theory, Windows Update would be used to force an upgrade to the newest driver. Which in turn could implement serial number blocking.

My recent GPU did not come with any sort of CD. They expect you to get drivers from the internet.

A serial number is independent of the driver while the past drivers could have a network check.

Personally I wouldn't love if my drivers phoned home to get the serial numbers of stolen cards.

And yet I would bet they already do phone home and send shittons of information.

But to use that to self destroy if stoken or the like would likely generate way too much negative PR to nvidia and bring unwanted attention, so they wont.

I know for a fact my drivers do not phone home. The only GPU driver I've used for years is the one that comes in the linux kernel. It's open source, I haven't read all the code, but I know I could and I know the developers wouldn't be phoning home.

I'd bet a large number of linux users are in this situation since nouveau (nvidia), intel, and amdgpu drivers all exist in the linux kernel and work well.

I'd also bet that whoever buys this type of nuclear-powered graphics card does not plan to use a driver that will not allow 3D gaming or bitcoin mining.

Or instead of consumer rights taking a loss, the company that failed to protect its property does.

Consumer rights haven't taken a loss because there is no consumer and no rights. Users have no right to use stolen property. The have rights when they legitimately acquire the product.

Even if its changed hands, its still illegal to purchase stolen property and the police will just take it from you without compensating you.

The loss is that DRM is added to a product, which means that even if you legally purchased it, you don't really own it.

You never "really owned" a TV because they were never open source. If the feature never activates, it never affects the user in any way and it may as well not exist. If it does activate wrongly, you have consumer law and protections to get your money back.

I'd argue that serial number checks would be the company protecting it's property. It would be far better if the company could rely on the state to protect its property.

I also really don't see activation lock as consumer rights taking a loss, thieves aren't consumers. Being able to brick hardware that thieves steal is a consumer protection. If EVGA started to block resale, that would be a completely different story, but I was happy to activation lock my stolen iPhone. Apple lets you resell, but if you steal a truck load of iPhones I doubt they would activate.

"I'd argue that serial number checks would be the company protecting it's property"

No, its the company compelling me to protect it's property at my expense using my CPU and my Internet connection without compensation or due process.

I mean doesn't Microsoft already phone home a unique GUID identifying the hardware in your computer that it ties Windows key activations to? And since Microsoft owns Canonical, probably in Ubuntu as well (on the defaults)?

Citation on how MS owns ubuntu ?

And what compensation would you think would be fair exactly?